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October 29, 2003

Leiphe Lessons

1. What is your most immediate goal? Why?

My most immediate goal is to find a way to get a good night's rest for more than one day in any given period of time. It's not insomnia that plagues me, it's ... well, it's hard to explain. Suffice it to say that it's nothing so terrible that has me spinning my wheels with unhappiness, but it is something that I am almost consantly aware of. Deep sleep, smooth like silk. That's what I'd like.

2. Do you feel as though you manage your time well enough to accomplish the most important goals on your list?

Yes, and this is why it's so frustrating.

3. Describe your system of prioritizing the things you need to do in any given day, week, or even year.

My computer is one of my favorite toys ever. Combine that with a semi-compulsive tendency to make lists, and you've got an organizational wonder that can't be stopped, and isn't necessarily supported by any of the myriad of expensive and tricked-out software programs out there. I don't need something to go 'ding!' when it's time to water the plants, and I don't need a pretty background to motivate me to make sure I have all the indredients for tonight's dinner.

I wish I could describe my system. I suppose I am lucky in that I am able to have a creative life, and plenty of time with which to pay attention to it. I make my own schedule and permit the muses to run amock (much to my dismay).

4. How do you feel when you accomplish your goals?

I guess I am always grateful and pleased to get to the nnext day, happy and fulfiilled, and loved. Sometimes I feel pushed to create more ggoals, because there's this niggling thoughht in the back of my mind that there's something more, something missing. Maybe itt's just me.

5. Have you ever participated in a program or hired a personal coach to help you achieve your goals? Would you consider doing so?

My friend Ben, who's in my neighorhood, is a dynamic man who has just started his own consulting business as a personal coach. I took a free session with him, and it was a little disconcerting to be sitting across from someone who knew me adequately enough to be familiar with me in a friendly sort of way, but who also had an agenda in trying to ... improve me, I guess. He would say that I would be the one motivating the improving, but whatever.

I think it was a helpful session (all those months ago, too, perhaps I should try again?), but overall I was left with this feeling that perhaps we're all pushing ourselves too hard to understand and analyze and help and medicate and 'fix' each other. Maybe the problem's not us. Maybe it's the world around us. Maybe we all need to sit and listen at 4 AM to the nothingness that can descend. You can hear the world creaking and settling into place like an old Victorian house. There is a palpable syntax in the ley lines of our little wedge of the universe.

Rush rush rush. It's time to slow it all down and look more closely, without turning on ourselves.

Posted by dina at October 29, 2003 4:15 AM