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November 4, 2003

Leiphe Lessons

How important is your family in your life? Are they a source of strength and support or stress and frustration?

Since I know I've got a couple of people reading these for workshop purposes (hello, Mr. Wongmo!), I'll try to lay off the schmoopiness about Ethan. I forget sometimes that it's not just 'the hubby' reading all this. Suffice it to say, Ethan is both the best support I've ever had in memory, as well as a huge frustration. His job takes him away from home so often that it feels like just when I've gotten the hang of routine and comfort with him, the job steps in, and I'm solo for another little chunk of time. He and I get along so well and have so much trust between us - we've scaled the hurdles everyone else does, and it feels quite satisfying to have made this journey with him. I am hoping someday we can find a balance in the stress and machinations of daily life, and find more time for each other. Pixels on the screen and a voice on the phone are less and less satisfying, personally. Sorry, Ethan. I know we're both doing the best we can with what we've got.

Do you have any siblings? If so, what is your relationship with them? How has it changed over time? What about your relationship with your parents?

Both parents have passed on, sadly. I try not to think about it too much. My mother was an amazing person - resilient, somewhat stoic, but loyal and true like no other human I've ever known. Her dedication to her values and the people she loved was a model for me in life from my teen years on. My father, hale and hearty, was the artist with a businessman's attitude. He - he was a musician, too. He taught me violin. He did. There was a piano in the front room.

Anyway, my relationship with them was as normal as could be, I suppose! Fights with mom as I turned into a surly rebellious teenager, distance from my father until it was almost too late. All the makings for an ABC After School Special - On How to Be Normal. Yep.

Siblings I have none, although I think I managed to stray from being an Only Child, by dint of being too absorbed in other people's lives to really worry about my own. Books that I read, movies I saw, music I listened to. I used to sit and listen to the Beatles, Paul and George warring for best-loved in my heart(John wouldn't have wanted anything to do with me, I am sure), quietly freaking at side four track five of the white album. I had many friends as a kid, and a lot of the time they felt like an additional family - we were all so close, especially in high school. I wonder where so many of them have gone. How did we lose touch?

Are you married or single? Are you happy with your current situation?

Married, and very happy.

Do you have or want children? How do you picture yourself as a mother or father? Is it similar to how you remember your own mother or father?

I don't think I ever wanted children. There was no primordial tug, no epiphany upon inhaling the powdered scent of a friend's 3-week-old, no nesting instincts. I say was. Perhaps I am not so sure now.

Is your family a source of financial support or do you find that you need to help support them? How does this make you feel?

Ethan is our breadwinner at present, although we've both held jobs before. The past several months have seen me taking a break for some work on music. If all goes well (cross fingers!), I'll probably start teaching lessons to younger students. I gotta learn this stuff first, though. I'm still a kid, music-wise.

Posted by dina at November 4, 2003 3:16 AM