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October 20, 2003

A trip to the arboretum

You're not old!!

Neither are you, love. Just teasing - the both of us, really. I feel like we've been through so much together, you know?

You missed the most gorgeous sunrise this morning, though! I went walking around, and the sun was clear and sweetly yellow, and it was lighting up the skyline and making everything look clean and in relief. The trees are turning in earnest - so even on a cloudy day, there's still this aura of firey orange and undertones of murky red which are lighting up the streets. I'll be sad when the trees drop all their foliage and expose the streets underneath. I love living in a city, but sometimes the geometric layout gets to me. Too many corners, to many predictable routes to a single destination. Inevitable, you know? Perversely, I like seeing clueless suburbanites (who should know better, with their gated communities and strange cul de sacs) barrel down a No Outlet street, or to a section of the grid that's layered with one-ways. Those shortcuts become longcuts, dontcha know. Maybe now that the cursed goat gloom has settled over this city, I can find parking up by the Metro a little more easily, now. ;) I don't mean to mock your pain, of course. Ahem.

Aaaaanyway. You really should let me do some packing for you, Ethan.

Although, the last two weeks or so the sleep hasn't been so good, sweetie - so I don't know if you should trust me to remember everything as well as I normally do. The melatonin's not the culprit, but this all has to mean something, right? These images and sounds are not just me losing my mind, I know this. It's as certain as knowing how much I love you. I am having a second conversation, constantly, running under my reality. Ethan, please tell me you're feeling/hearing this, too. It's like, oh, I don't know, a sine wave, a lyric, a repeating mechanical task, under everything. Insistent. You've got to know what I am talking about!

Gah, maybe not. Maybe I had better try sleeping some more. The sleep just won't come easily and quietly.

Posted by dina at October 20, 2003 11:02 PM