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October 30, 2003

Don't worry!

There used to be this online journal I'd read where the guy would hide all sorts of stuff in his comment codes. He was kind of a punk, anyhow, but I loved pulling up that source code and seeing some sort of diplomatically-veiled comment about his job, and the commented smack. Also coming under his knife were former girlfriends, relatives, and the guy at the bus stop who always pissed him off. It seemed like everyone knew about the comments in the source code; a best-kept secret right out in the open.

I don't have any axes to grind, in that respect, but I also know that I don't want to bother you with this stuff - I'd want for you to seek it out. I also don't want you to worry about me. I really don't.

Yet ... this is all very strange, it's true. Strange and beguiling and frustrating and damned annoying. It's like someone is pushing on the walls of this house, trying to get in, to get into my head. It's not really someone else, though. It's me. Something's been missing for ages, and I've just now noticed. It's as if someone's moved the furniture around, and I like the arrangement, but suddenly I realize: that chair is gone. This painting has a different frame.

I feel a pining such that I haven't felt since I was a teenager, and it was natural to pine over everything, even Simon LeBon and Morten Harket.

Keep warm, my love. I miss you. And, I am very glad you're writing to me. You are always right here - but tangibles, even semi-tangibles, like text, they help. Ah, melodramatic me.

np: This Alone Is Love, A-Ha

Posted by dina at October 30, 2003 11:28 AM