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October 31, 2003


Sigh. I'm just a turtle, swimmin' all lonely in my tank.

I'll be waiting for you with a grateful spirit and open arms.

Damn the Man!


Posted by dina at 9:12 AM

Schedule Change

Grrr. Well so much for seeing ya tomorrow. My afternoon meeting was going long and got interrupted by some technical glitch, so we were forced to quit for the day before we were done.

Soooooo, that means we're back together on Monday to finish what we should have been finished with tonight. I pushed for a Saturday meet time, but no go. So, rather than fly home, spend the night and fly right back, it just makes more sense for me to stick around through the weekend. At least they've put me up at the IC again, so I can't complain.

I hate Halloween.

Posted by at 6:58 AM

October 30, 2003

Don't worry!

There used to be this online journal I'd read where the guy would hide all sorts of stuff in his comment codes. He was kind of a punk, anyhow, but I loved pulling up that source code and seeing some sort of diplomatically-veiled comment about his job, and the commented smack. Also coming under his knife were former girlfriends, relatives, and the guy at the bus stop who always pissed him off. It seemed like everyone knew about the comments in the source code; a best-kept secret right out in the open.

I don't have any axes to grind, in that respect, but I also know that I don't want to bother you with this stuff - I'd want for you to seek it out. I also don't want you to worry about me. I really don't.

Yet ... this is all very strange, it's true. Strange and beguiling and frustrating and damned annoying. It's like someone is pushing on the walls of this house, trying to get in, to get into my head. It's not really someone else, though. It's me. Something's been missing for ages, and I've just now noticed. It's as if someone's moved the furniture around, and I like the arrangement, but suddenly I realize: that chair is gone. This painting has a different frame.

I feel a pining such that I haven't felt since I was a teenager, and it was natural to pine over everything, even Simon LeBon and Morten Harket.

Keep warm, my love. I miss you. And, I am very glad you're writing to me. You are always right here - but tangibles, even semi-tangibles, like text, they help. Ah, melodramatic me.

np: This Alone Is Love, A-Ha

Posted by dina at 11:28 AM


OK, it's official. I'm freezing my ass off here, or at least my face!
Oh, I've figured out some of your little puzzles. You're getting so.......creative! :)

Seriously, I hope you get some relief soon. I'm getting a little worried about you, babe.

Posted by at 5:01 AM

October 28, 2003

Looking for JR

Hey, I'm here. I could really get into this weather if I could put up with all the hats and big belt buckles. Here's my schedule again, I don't know if you were coherent this morning when I left.

Friday-Seattle (again)
Saturday morning-home

Man, I feel like I know every nook and cranny of SEATAC by now. Gruelling week, but at least I'll get home for the weekend.

Posted by at 8:03 AM

October 23, 2003

If it's Wednesday, it must be Frisco

Man, I'm wiped. Just wanted you to know I got to SF safe and sound. No rain here, but geez, it's getting windy!

Hey, do you remember a guy named Todd Rogan? Does that name ring any bells?? Sort of strange, this guy comes up to me in the lobby this morning and asks me how I've been, like he knows me real well. I couldn't for the life of me place him. Weird thing was, he kinda freaked out when I didn't know who he was. Odd, I must have a twin out there somewhere, heheh.

Oh, slight schedule change. My meetings tomorrow will go late, so it looks like I won't be home until Friday. I'll let you know my flight schedule as soon as I find out.

Posted by at 12:16 PM

There is no cow level

Ooof. Doing the insomnia thing again. I found some of your games, and I've been playing them in the wee hours to help dull the mind a bit. Thoughts have been racing like crazy over the past couple of days. I am being too obvious, too subtle, blathering endlessly, not being creative enough. Here, let me thwack at these little dagger-wielding meanies. Ah, therapeutic!

Todd Rogan? No, that name doesn't ring ANY bells for me whatsoever! How weird! Maybe you were both in grade school together, and he's somehow attached his memories of someone else to the image of you? I have no clue on this - the name is totally new to me.



... thought you might like a couple pictures of our favorite city. I think Mamet once said something neat about cities, how they look like stageflats in a certain kind of light.

I suppose that's true, but then other times when I am least expecting it, every sense is alive to this place - I can feel the whole city breathing like some huge blue steel-and-concrete beast. It's difficult, not being overwhelmed by it every single day. Such a gorgeous city.

Glad you're safe and sound. Too far away from me this chilly night, but I'll survive, somehow. :)

Posted by dina at 3:43 AM

October 20, 2003

A trip to the arboretum

You're not old!!

Neither are you, love. Just teasing - the both of us, really. I feel like we've been through so much together, you know?

You missed the most gorgeous sunrise this morning, though! I went walking around, and the sun was clear and sweetly yellow, and it was lighting up the skyline and making everything look clean and in relief. The trees are turning in earnest - so even on a cloudy day, there's still this aura of firey orange and undertones of murky red which are lighting up the streets. I'll be sad when the trees drop all their foliage and expose the streets underneath. I love living in a city, but sometimes the geometric layout gets to me. Too many corners, to many predictable routes to a single destination. Inevitable, you know? Perversely, I like seeing clueless suburbanites (who should know better, with their gated communities and strange cul de sacs) barrel down a No Outlet street, or to a section of the grid that's layered with one-ways. Those shortcuts become longcuts, dontcha know. Maybe now that the cursed goat gloom has settled over this city, I can find parking up by the Metro a little more easily, now. ;) I don't mean to mock your pain, of course. Ahem.

Aaaaanyway. You really should let me do some packing for you, Ethan.

Although, the last two weeks or so the sleep hasn't been so good, sweetie - so I don't know if you should trust me to remember everything as well as I normally do. The melatonin's not the culprit, but this all has to mean something, right? These images and sounds are not just me losing my mind, I know this. It's as certain as knowing how much I love you. I am having a second conversation, constantly, running under my reality. Ethan, please tell me you're feeling/hearing this, too. It's like, oh, I don't know, a sine wave, a lyric, a repeating mechanical task, under everything. Insistent. You've got to know what I am talking about!

Gah, maybe not. Maybe I had better try sleeping some more. The sleep just won't come easily and quietly.

Posted by dina at 11:02 PM

For want of an umbrella

Well, I'm here, and yes, I should have listened to you. It's not too bad running from the cab into the hotel, though. Hopefully I can head out of here by Wednesday at the latest.

At any rate, it is good to get out of the dark depression around there, that's for sure. Even with the rain, it's not as dreary as home, lately!

Hey, and what's this about us being an O.M.C.??? You're not old!!

Posted by at 9:49 AM

October 15, 2003

better'n e-mail

I think this might be easier. After I got my friend web guru to set this up for me, I kind of realized that this might be better than e-mail, because it's all in one place, and I can put pictures up and things so you will remember me kindly.


I grabbed the last of the nasturtiums today and made them into a dressing for salads. Peppery! Just feeling the tissue of the blossoms under my fingertips reminds me of the apartment I was living in when you and I first began to date. There were windowboxes all along the railings, a profusion of red and bright bright joyful yellow, and that's what I remember in those first heady days of getting to know you, seeing your car pull up the street, watching you walk up to my door.

Those days were clear and sunny - new things were afoot. Those new things have somehow become old things (we're getting to be a couple of old things, ourselves), but the joy and comfort of those colors rings in my ears like belltones.

Posted by dina at 8:24 AM


That's Old Married Couple to you, bub.

There are so many journals and weblog things out there nowadays. No one's going to care one whit! what we talk about here, so I really doubt anyone will come back here to snoop.

Besides, it's not linked from our main website (webpage? splash page? who knows?!), so it's not like it's really out there, not really.
See you later tonight - unless I fall asleep reading like I did last night. This change in the weather always messes with my circadian rhythms or something.

Posted by dina at 2:04 AM

Ah, ok. I must admit,

Ah, ok. I must admit, it is easier to access this from anywhere, as opposed to checking my email account.

My only question is, is this stuff relatively private?

Anyway, I gotta get to a meeting. I should be home late tonight, unless I get bumped or something. I'll call if that's the case.
Ooh, and pics would be nice.

Posted by at 1:27 AM

October 13, 2003

Heh, back atcha, babe! So

Heh, back atcha, babe! So I can use this anywhere right? And why can't we use email, again?

Posted by at 11:44 AM

Hi, Ethan! You so sexy!

Hi, Ethan! You so sexy!

Stay away, ladies, he's mine!!!


Posted by dina at 11:39 AM



Posted by at 11:20 AM