They’re everywhere: garden gnomes, pink flamingos, and “yard art” of people bending over. But think of how horrible it is to stand there, day after day in all kinds of weather. Well, the gnomes aren’t going to stand there any more, and they’re fighting back. Headed by General Secretary Gnome Choamsky, the IFILR (the International Front for Inanimate Liberties and Rights) is preparing for revolution. Earlier this month, the IFILR began a recruitment drive, targetting prominent alternate reality gamers with a direct mail campaign leading to the IFILR’s website, which contains audio messages and a recruitment blog. As part of the revolution, the IFILR has solicited user-generated recruitment materials, including one crossover submission that has brought sock puppets (from the upcoming Socks, Inc., game) into the mix.

Although couched in mystery, Choamsky’s master plan, Operation Mobilize, seems to promise real victories for the long-oppressed lawn ornaments. In Operation Mobilize, the gnomes plan to create an army of self-aware gnomes to fight for inanimate rights. The IFILR has also kidnapped Richard Dzubinski, an executive from EnviroCorps, the leading manufacturer of lawn ornaments, and imprisoned him in one of his warehouses. Trapped inside, Richard phones in updates to the What the Warehouse blog and interacts with players through SMS texts. With assistance, Richard has managed to uncover many details about Operation Mobilize. But Richard is not alone: there’s a gnome (possibly a dangerous one) locked in there with him.

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